The Disfunctional Da #1 - Is It Just Me?

K, so my little girl turned one year old just a few months ago and I took a little time to ponder what she means to me. I don't really cry it's not my thing, but when I held my little girl for the first time a single manly tear filled with testosterone and nitroglycerin slide down my cheek and landed on the pillow, cliche I know, but true. I probably should have caught it in a vial so we could synthesize it and cure cancer, but alas live and learn.

For that joke and the rest of this post to make any sense you need to know a little about me, I weigh a buck fifty on a good day and giggle like a school girl when I successfully do two pull ups. I'm not a particularly intimidating individual. Now there is a lot that can be said about my little girl, I love her dearly and she lights up my life, but there is something particular I want to discuss about my life since she showed up.

I've always considered myself relatively mild mannered, in fact it took me 21 years to throw my first punch and I had enough presence of mind to hit an object instead of the person, though not enough presence of mind to pick something softer than oak to punch, again live and learn. The day my daughter was born though something changed in me, something I had never noticed in myself before. For the first time in my life I realized I was dangerous.

I don't know if this is a daddy's with little girls thing or a daddy's in general thing, (fathers please chime in) but I realized that I wouldn't hesitate to throw myself in the middle of anyone who posed a threat to my family. My greatest fear is losing my little girl. In fact as I've spent time  analyzing my thoughts and emotions I've found that this new fear has covered up many of my old fears and inhibitions. As strange as it sounds fear for my family has actually made me a better person by forcing me to overcome my roadblocks.

My wife and daughter have forced me to stop living for myself and start living for them. It was hard for me to understand that concept when I was single, but when you forget about yourself you can truly be happy. It's strange I always heard other people talk about how you love your children more than you love yourself and to me that always meant you sacrifice for your kids, but when my daughter came into my life I realized it was something quite different. I look at my little girl and I see myself and her future is my future and suddenly nothing matters except my little monster.

A child changes your life, yeah lack of sleep, lack of money, and diapers are all part of the job. Really when it comes down to it though they make you a better person, they shift your priorities and teach you how to give of yourself. Kids aren't for everyone and if they aren't for you find a way to give of yourself, find someone who needs something you have to give. It'll change your life.

Peace folks  I'm out,

Cap

Re-Introduction

K, so here I am writing my blog again. Unfortunately I'm also writing this post for the second time, teach me not to save my work as I go. Over the last few months I've been going through a minor crisis, I've had more and more stress in my life and no way to get rid of it. My duties at work have been steadily increasing and so have my hours, all the while my health has been decreasing. At this moment I find myself lying in bed recovering from a recent surgery. I had developed an infection from my untreated Crohn's disease, I suppose I figured that I could just walk it off. Chronic disease? No big deal right? Any way I've had plenty of time to lie around and think lately, and feel like it's time for an outlet for my thoughts.

This blog has gone through several iterations, it has been worked and reworked a dozen times. I've redesigned it time and again and thanks to some help from my darling bride I've finally decided what I want to do  with it. This will be a blog about the things I'm passionate about, the things I most love to ramble about. My family, food, politics, books, movies, games, and my job.

I know that politics can be a pretty dicey subject, and even more so  because I probably won't mention anything unless it's rather controversial. Having said that I'll bring up political matters for two reasons; first to state my convictions and opinions, second to hopefully gain an understanding from opposing view points. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and as such I believe strongly in following the example set by Christ himself. First He made His stance known and didn't hide from who He was, second He loved those who opposed His view points and understood them better than they knew themselves. I'm not perfect, not even close, and sooner or later I will offend someone, it is my hope that anyone who disagrees with me will open a line of communication and I can begin to understand them and their views better.

I'm really excited to start this project, I hope you'll continue to follow this blog. I'm working on setting up a notification email and newsletter, but until then if you want to know when the blog is updated follow me on Twitter or G+

Peace folks I'm out,

Cap

The Return

So as it turns out I haven't been fantastic at keeping up on this here blog. That's okay though because my brain juices have been flowing and I'm going to end up going a different direction with this blog.

Day 19: Knowledge

So there I go missing a few days again. All in all I still consider myself a success as I've posted significantly more this month than in the previous months, or at the very least I'm not a complete failure. Having said that this may be a shorter post than normal as I get back into the swing.

Day 14: Day of Mourning

I feel today is an inappropriate day for me to continue expressing my thanks without acknowledging the day's events. Today a man walked into an elementary school after killing his mother and started gunning down children and then turned the gun on himself. As of this writing 20 kids between ages 5 and 10 and 6 adults were killed. I'm not entirely sure what this post is going to be, I'm upset, I've had most of the day to cool off but some things need to be said and I'll do my best to do it rationally.

Day 13: My Happy Place

Loial by Seamas Gallagher

All growing up my mother encouraged me to read. Sometimes it was by threatening to take away my game systems if I didn't read and others it was simply buying me a new book I had to have. My father and my older siblings were also voracious readers and I often found myself enthralled as they discussed stories that they had been reading. Don't get me wrong I love my video games and they have had their own part in the growth of my imagination, but the likes of J.R.R. Tolkien and Robert Jordan cultivated the fields and planted the first seeds of my imagination.

Day 12: I Love Our Robot Overlords

Boop Beep Boo Bop Beep!

I'm thankful for technology, the internet, text messages, cell phones, I'm thankful for all of it. Don't get me wrong I recognize the problems that come with abuse of modern tech, each generation is progressively becoming more and more social inept due to their reliance on tech. It's more and more difficult for people to just 'unplug' and communicate face to face with another person. Those things however are inevitable, anything can be over used and if something can be over used somebody will over over use it.

Day 11 Insert Title Here

The face of the West

Ok so I missed a couple of days, but I'm back in the saddle again! Hopefully there will be no more stops in the thankful train. Today I wanted to express my thanks for the land of my birth. Though I may not always agree with the path my country takes I am still proud of it's heritage and the privileges we maintain.